Yesterday would have been my dad's 57th Birthday.
I miss him.
He was murdered when I was 19 years old. I remember the day so vividly and yet it was been almost 13 years and I forget what his voice sounded like and how it felt to be hugged by him.
Funny how thinking back to that day still makes me feel sick to my stomach and a bit light headed.
I wish he could have met my husband and my children.
I wish he could see the cakes I make.
I wish I could have him into my home and cook for him.
I wish I could call him on his birthday and tell him that I love him.
Loosing a parent is painful and that pain really never goes away. The sharpness of the pain subsides but it never truly fades. I think of him often and of all the good memories we made as children.
He would play "lion" with us and tickle us till we couldnt breathe and were begging him to stop.
He would take us for rides on his motorcycle.
He would cook amazing food- some recipes that I still make today!
I have a handful of pictures of my dad all of which I need to scan into the computer because I didnt have a digital camera back in those days. He was handsome and had the best smile with a little dimple in his cheek. Elijah has the same dimple. I like that.
My dad had skin that always looked like it was tan even in the winter.
Marks arms remind me of my dad's- weird, but they do.
My dad had dark hair, pretty much the same color as Sophia and Arianna.
Ella really has no physical trait that reminds me of my dad,
but the fact that Ella is always making us laugh reminds me of my him.
Even though my children will never know their grandfather, I try to keep his memory alive by telling them stories about him and showing them pictures of the man that I called "Dad".
These pictures are of the house and lake where I spent my childhood.
Great times were had by my brother and I, as we hiked and explored all over this lake and the woods behind our house. We would be gone for hours! Such good memories!