Move over Julia- Sauce and a Memory

Yesterday, I made my first ever hollandaise sauce and it was delicioso! I LOVE anything to do with creamy egg yolks and butter- add a dash of lemon juice and thats basically it- whip and whip and whip on low heat and the resulting concoction is smooth, creamy, and amazing!

 I got my recipe from Mastering The Art of French Cooking by Julia Child and reading her recipes crack me up- she is so blunt and practical- I love it! And I loved her hollandaise sauce. Can you tell which movie I recently watched? Its one of my favorites and I love how it inspires me to cook after I watch it.

I cooked up 2 large, plump artichokes and all the while thought of my dad- he introduced me to artichokes at a very young age- Its so FUN to eat an artichoke- just peal off a leaf and run your teeth along the bottom edge and taste the meaty flesh- its mild and so yummy. It takes forever to get through to the middle but when you do- ahhh! Scoop out the hairy part (its weird, I know) and you have the heart of the artichoke which is the real treasure.

Last Sunday, it was 13 years on the day that my dad has been gone. I was 19 when I got the call that would change my life forever. My dad had been shot and was dead. But God's grace is amazing and gives you the strength you need to carry on!  Part of me feels like it has been MUCH longer.. I forget so much about him yet I do remember certain things vividly. Those memories carry you through the sad days and the pain gets easier but the ache of missing him is always there.

The hollandaise sauce turned out great but the memory of my dad was even better!

Reflecting

 Yesterday would have been my dad's 57th Birthday.

I miss him.

He was murdered when I was 19 years old. I remember the day so vividly and yet it was been almost 13 years and I forget what his voice sounded like and how it felt to be hugged by him. 

Funny how thinking back to that day still makes me feel sick to my stomach and a bit light headed.

I wish he could have met my husband and my children.

I wish he could see the cakes I  make.

I wish I could have him into my home and cook for him. 

I wish I could call him on his birthday and tell him that I love him.

Loosing a parent is painful and that pain really never goes away. The sharpness of the pain subsides but it never truly fades. I think of him often and of all the good memories we made as children.

He would play "lion" with us and tickle us till we couldnt breathe and were begging him to stop.

He would take us for rides on his motorcycle.

He would cook amazing food- some recipes that I still make today! 

I have a handful of pictures of my dad all of which I need to scan into the computer because I didnt have a digital camera back in those days.  He was handsome and had the best smile with a little dimple in his cheek. Elijah has the same dimple. I like that.

My dad had skin that always looked like it was tan even in the winter. 

Marks arms remind me of my dad's- weird, but they do.

My dad had dark hair, pretty much the same color as Sophia and Arianna.

Ella really has no physical trait that reminds me of my dad, 

but the fact that Ella is always making us laugh reminds me of my him. 

Even though my children will never know their grandfather, I  try to keep his memory alive by telling them stories about him and showing them pictures of the man that I called "Dad".

These pictures are of the house and lake where I spent my childhood.

Great times were had by my brother and I, as we hiked and explored all over this lake and the woods behind our house. We would be gone for hours! Such good memories!